Covenant Children
A lesson for Christ Church & King's Cross Church Parish Discipleship Groups (2024–25).
A Covenantal World
God has designed His world to work in a particular way, and the reality of covenant is deeply engrained in the framework. One place where we can observe this covenantal reality is in families. There is a covenantal relationship between parents and their children, in which the decisions of parents automatically affect the children. Children, while individuals, are not merely individuals, but members of a family, a people, a nation, and so on. A parent’s loyalties become a child’s loyalties, and this is generally true whether we are discussing allegiance to sports teams or to the Triune God.
As the Presbyterian theologian A.A. Hodge wrote, “God has in all respects made the standing of the child while an infant to depend upon that of the parent. The sin of the parent carries away the infant from God; so the faith of the parent brings the infant near to God.” This is simply how it is. As the Apostle Paul wrote of the children of at least one believer, “they are holy” (1 Cor. 7:14).
Some parents today try to lean against this reality, ignorantly desiring for their children to somehow choose their own identity. “They can be whoever they want to be. They can believe whatever they want to believe.” But they do not understand that they are still catechizing their children in their own beliefs. It is simply inescapable.
In this lesson then, we will consider very briefly three arguments for the covenantal inclusion of children, and then a few applications for the church and the home.
Covenant Continuity
First, one aspect of our broader covenant theology is the understanding that the Old Testament church is the same as the New Testament church. While in the era of the New Covenant the gospel has been proclaimed to and received by Gentiles in a special way, there are not two separate people of God but one.
As the Apostle Paul wrote, believers today are “sons of Abraham,” who himself had heard the “gospel,” when the Lord said to him that all the nations of the earth would be blessed in him (Gal. 3:7–9). Abraham and the saints under the Old Covenant were saved by faith just as the Apostles and the saints under the New Covenant are (Rom. 4:3). Indeed, “if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise” (Gal. 3:29).
To You and Your Children
Second, every covenant God made with His people included their children. As He promised to Abraham, “I will establish My covenant between Me and you and your descendants after you in their generations, for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and your descendants after you (Gen. 17:7, see also Gen. 9:9, Deut. 7:9, 2 Sam. 7:10, 12, Isa. 59:21).
As we are now in the New Covenant administration of God’s covenant of grace, if this truth regarding the inclusion of children was altered, we should expect to see that made explicit by Christ and His apostles. But instead, we find the opposite in the first apostolic sermon of the New Covenant era, with the Apostle Peter declaring on the Day of Pentecost that this “promise is for you and for your children” (Acts 2:39).
If children were removed from the new and better covenant, then Christ would now be turning children “out of their ancient birth-right in the Church” (to quote Hodge again). But nowhere do we find our Lord doing this. Rather, He tells the disciples to let the children come to Him, for the kingdom of heaven is theirs (Mt. 19:14).
Household Baptisms
Third, in the New Testament entire households were baptized and some of them most likely included children. Of the eleven instances of baptism recorded in Acts and the Epistles, two were of individuals (the Apostle Paul and the Ethiopian eunuch, neither of which had children), five were of large crowds, and whenever a household was present, they too were baptized along with the head of the household (1 Cor. 1:16, Acts 10:44–48, 16:15, 16:31–34, 18:8). In all of these instances but one, the faith of the head of the household is mentioned, but not explicitly the faith of the household.
It is clear then that the New Covenant sign of baptism was being applied in the same way that the Old Covenant sign of circumcision was—with the faith of the head of the household representing the whole.
Children in the Household
If it is true then that our children are members of the household of God, then this must inform how we raise them in our homes and how we treat them in the church.
When Paul writes to the Gentile believers in Ephesus, he includes instructions regarding their households. He writes, “obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with promise: ‘that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.’ And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:1–4).
From these four verses we can learn a few basic principles. First, Paul is expecting children to be present and engaged when his letter is read aloud. Second, children are to obey “in the Lord,” a phrase when used elsewhere in Ephesians always refers to being united to Christ. Third, Gentile children can be recipients of God’s covenantal promises first made to Jewish children. And fourth, fathers must not exasperate their children, but joyfully raise them to love the Lord their God, remembering that this is for their earthly and eternal good.
Children in the Church
When it comes to children in the church, because they are part of God’s people, they should be included in our corporate worship and not sent down an indoor slide with barcodes on their backs to be entertained in “children’s church.”
That said, we do not keep our children with us in the service with the simple end goal of keeping them quiet and distracted (though it feels that way sometimes). We want them present, but most importantly we want them to be participating.
What does this look like? It means having them stand, sit, and kneel along with everyone else. Teaching them the Apostles Creed, the Lord’s Prayer, and some of the common hymns/psalms. Encouraging them to listen to the sermon as they color or draw. Having them partake of the Lord’s Supper if they’re baptized. And of course, all of this is according to their maturity. Do not expect a two year old to participate like a twelve year old. But do help them participate.
Conclusion: Remember God’s Promises
With all of this, it is important that parents remember the promises of God. We labor to raise our children in the faith, not resting in our own work, but in God’s faithfulness. For He is the one who says that His mercy “is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children, to such as keep His covenant, and to those who remember His commandments to do them” (Ps. 103:17–18).
Questions & Answers
1. The understanding that there is one people of God throughout redemptive history is called covenant theology. What is another way of reading Scripture and how does it differ?
Dispensationalism is another popular interpretive framework in the church today that teaches there are two separate people of God – Israel and the Church.
2. What does the Apostle Paul mean when he says that the children of at least one believer are “holy” (1 Cor. 7:14)?
The Greek word here for “holy,” when applied to persons, is most often translated as “saint.” The children of at least one believer is not a pagan child, but set apart and a recipient of God’s covenant blessings.
3. What does our church teach regarding the baptism of children?
In accordance with the Westminster Confession of Faith, we teach that children of believing parents are to be baptized. We do not believe that children who are baptized are undoubtedly regenerated, nor do we believe that the efficacy of the sacrament is tied to the moment it was administered.
4. What are the benefits of keeping children in the worship service? Discuss the challenges you have experienced and the ways in which you have helped your children participate.
By having our children grow up participating in corporate worship, we are teaching them that they fully belong to God and are members of the church just like their parents. This is not an easy task, but it is hard work that God rewards.
5. What are ways in which fathers (and mothers) can provoke their children to wrath?
Parents can provoke their children to wrath and discourage them in two broad ways. First, by being overly strict, harsh, always stern, and overbearing. Second, by being overly lax, inconsistent in discipline, and inattentive. Our normal disposition should be great delight in our children. They should know tangibly that we love and enjoy them.
6. What happens when we begin to forget God’s promises regarding our children?
When we forget God’s promises regarding our children we begin to worry, rely on our own work, and are prone to become legalistic—trusting in our practices but not teaching our children to truly love God and His standard.