Hypocrite Husbands

1 Peter 3:7 reads, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” There are three things to note in this brief admonition to husbands. 

First, you are to dwell with your wife with “understanding.” This means you must live with her according to knowledge. You must know your God, you must know your duties, and you must know your wife. You need to study her. You need to know her strengths and weaknesses, her virtues and vices, and how best you can encourage and serve her. When you are confused, as from time to time you are likely to be, you must not simply shrug or mutter—but seek to understand her heart and what is going on. 

Second, you are to give “honor” to your wife. You are to honor her with love, service, and tenderness. You are to always speak well of her, never dis-honoring her. The Apostle Peter says you are to do these things because she is the weaker vessel, deserving of protection and care. And also because she is equally an heir of the “grace of life” with you. She is your God-ordained companion during this earthly life into the next. And so you should find delight in her, and always put her before yourself. 

Lastly, neglecting these duties has serious implications for your relationship with God, for the Apostle Peter warns that refusing to love your wife rightly will hinder your prayers. Sin separates us from God; it causes a disruption in our fellowship. God demands that we lift up holy hands in prayer and anything else He considers an abomination (1 Tim. 2:8, Prov. 28:9).

Unfortunately, there are many Christian men in the church who, in public, present themselves as righteous, but in the home, their wives simply know them as hypocrites. They appear respectable, kind, buttoned up, obedient to the church, and eager to learn or even lead. But in private, they are harsh, neglectful, and demeaning toward their wives. They do not know them, they do not honor them, and they look very little like Christ to their families.

And so the warning for those husbands is this: until you repent of your selfishness and hard-heartedness, God will not entertain your prayers. He will not listen to you, and He will not come through for you. Unless your next prayer is one of earnest repentance.